Baby for 16- year-old Jamie Lynn Spears

Just recently, the issue of teen pregnancy has come to the forefront.  Jamie Lynn Spears, younger sister of infamous Britney Spears, has admitted that she is indeed expecting at sixteen. (Photo not of Spears) In addiction to her revelation, People Magazine has an insightful spread this month about young, single moms. However, these women, including Jamie Lynn, all appear to have family support and financial assistance, not something most girls or young women have in this circumstance.

What can we do to help? Do we even care? Hopefully, if you’re visiting this journal you, too, care about life and the issues that single pregnant women of any age face. The fear, anger, hopelessness, and seed of hope are all present. After all, we were designed to give life. It is only natural for women, no matter what the circumstances to feel a sense of anticipation about having a baby. However, when there are horrific circumstances and resources seem nonexistent, that hope can be difficult to identify. It is usually buried deep beneath other more tumultuous emotions.

My hope is that all the press surrounding Ms. Spears will bring to light the tragedy of unsupported pregnant women. Becoming a mother even for a married woman is challenging and frightening. For a woman who hasn’t completed high school it can be downright terrifying. But it doesn’t have to be like this.

I’m so passionate about these women. So is Bethany House. That’s why for the past 17-plus years they’ve continued to do what they do best … touch two lives at a time with God’s love and provided the needed support and resources to turn a nightmare into a dream.

Consider the story of Susan* who came to live at Bethany House last year. Susan is what I would definitely refer to as a “love addict.” The following description of a “love addict” will shed some light on this dilemma:

A person addicted to love is fully absorbed in the pursuit of love, because love is the greatest need.  The desire to be loved can push women into perfectionism, sexual promiscuity, and unhealthy relationships.  Love is desired, demanded, and pursued at all costs.  The price, many times, turns into a compromise of moral values and a devaluing of the person who pursues this addiction.  Having affairs, or being in one relationship after another to fill the emptiness, can become a pattern.  Fantasizing can fuel the obsession to escape from painful realities into a world where the illusion of LOVE exists.

In future entries, I will provide additional information and stories of this addiction to love and approval that countless women struggle with. It’s real and it hurts.

Our Susan was not only addicted to attention from men, she was using meth and alcohol on a regular basis and in a relationship with someone much older. Searching for a “father figure” is very common in young women. I discovered that over 70% of the women at Bethany House were involved with older men, sometimes much older. This is a cycle that must be broken for the girls to become confident women and successful mothers.

Susan, like others addicted to relationships and the rollercoaster of emotions that they provide, became very bored when she first came to Bethany House. There was no crisis to get caught up in. So, like others before her, Susan began to create one crisis after another. Her need for constant attention and affirmation drove her to become so needy that it was, honestly, difficult to be around her. This is where lots of love and prayers, combined with solid professional training, and a professional, team-driven staff came into play. Together, the Bethany House team worked to provide a balance of love and boundaries.

TO BE CONTINUED …

To learn more about what happened to this young woman, check back. We will continue with her story and more information about the pitfalls of love and sexual addiction.

* name changed for confidentiality

To learn more about the Jamie Lynn Spears story, visit: http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1576746/20071218/spears_britney.jhtml

9 comments January 13, 2008