Addicted to Love

January 22, 2008 bethanygirl7
Tags: addicted, addicted to love, butterflies, crazy in love, growth, hope, love, new life, personal change, pregnant, women

Remember that old Robert Palmer video Addicted to Love? There were several svelte women staring blankly ahead as they danced in place to these revealing lyrics: “You might as well face it your addicted to love.”

Between their blank stares accentuated by an over-abundance of eye-makeup, these pasty-pale beauties appeared to have entered another zone. Maybe the “love addicted” zone? After all, I’ve learned over the years that there is indeed such a place and it’s none to pretty.

In the last entry, I mentioned a Bethany House resident who came to us not only hungry but ravenous for love. Unfortunately, like most love addicts, she had compromised everything including her body, mind, and spirit all in the ellusive search for love, love that she attempted to find in all the wrong places. Unable to imagine her life without a man or relationship, she struggled for months as she attempted to adjust to the Bethany House program. After all, while living safetly within the care of her new residence, she was not permitted to seek the “relationship fixes” that she had so readily sought on her own.

I’m very familiar with this process of pain — the feeling that you must have love and acceptance at all costs — no matter what the consequence. Back in the day, when I, too, was singing the above theme song, I spent countless hours focussed on the current object/s of my attention (affection).

This time period (goodness, I make it sound like I’m 90 years old) was well before the caller ID phones we are now privvy to. I remember lunging for the phone in hopes that the caller would be HIM … the man of the moment. After all, my moods were attached to what was going on in my relationship. If all was well with “us” then all was seemingly well in my upside-down-world.

Many of the women who come to Bethany House have only recently let go of their drug addiction, love addiction, and the so-called freedom to do whatever whenever they so choose. Suddenly, they are surrounded by healthy love that includes boundaries and limits on behavior. And quite frankly, these new changes, although better, create a deep void in the lives of the women.  Some may wonder, is there hope? I can answer with assurance that there is indeed a hope and future for any woman who truly seeks it.

I just realized, after looking back at these journal entries that most of them are very serious. Now granted, teen pregnancy, addiction, and abuse are serious topics, but Bethany House is also about fun. Helping these young girls discover how to have wholesome fun is a process in itself. After all, how can they possibly play with their children if life is all about deep personal, emotional, and spiritual work alone. There is a time for taking a breather and just learning how to have fun.

For Christmas, Founder and Director, Beth Rhinehart did special things for each woman. One new mom, now enrolled in an intensive GED/career development course, got to go shopping with Beth. I’m telling you, when Kristi first arrived at Bethany House, shopping with the primary authority figure would not have sounded like much fun at all. But these two hit the mall like to teenagers on a quest. Together, they shopped till they dropped and returned with a whole new type of attire for Kristi. No more short shorts, low cut tops, and super high heels. What happens for these girls is amazing. As their insides (belief systems) change, their appearances often make a 190 degree turn. Fun takes on a new face. Where before partying and racing around with some maniac of a man might have equaled a good time, they are now discovering that simple friendships and “everyday” activities can be and are fun.

Helping these former love addicts transfer their affection to God and a healthy support system is a process that produces miraculous results. Talk about someone becoming a new creation before your eyes. The caterpillar to butterfly story applies perfectly. I’ve seen quite a few butterflies take flight over the past several years. What an incredible sight!

Forget the blank stares! These women have traded their hurts for hope and their fears for friendship, tears for laughter, and lies for the truth.

Maybe, you, too, find yourself getting excited about the changes that are happening at Bethany House. If so, check out the official website — www.bethanyhousenet.org. We’re always looking for new friends to partner with us in this life-saving process. Watching a newly developed butterfly spread its wings is an experience you won’t want to miss.

 

Entry Filed under: Bethany House General,Big Changes

One Comment Add your own

• 1. Christy  |  May 26, 2012 at 9:52 pm

  Thank you for helping people who are suffering from love addiction. May your organization be more successful so you may be able to help lots of people! More luck and God bless all of you!

  Reply

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to comments via RSS Feed