Kids … a source of laughter and joy

One thing Bethany House is never in shortage of is laughter. The never-ending, crazy-kid-antics are a continual source of genuine smiles and laughter for anyone who happens upon their inopportune performances.  Yes, performances! Whether they are aware of it or not, the fact remains, children have a special way of “performing” and providing us grownups with fresh comedy routines on a regular basis.

Thus far, this Blog has focussed on some very sensitive and heavy subjects, so it’s about time we have a gut-level, belly-aching laugh. What do you say? The following story was sent to me by a dear friend. I couldn’t wait to share it with, well, with EVERYONE.

Enjoy!

Embarrassing Mommy Moment (Major understatement)

If you’ve had children, or taken care of them, this is hilarious!!!A 3 year old tells all from his mother’s restroom stall – By Shannon Popkin (free-lance writer from Grand Rapids, MI.)

My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we’re in the library, the grocery store or at a drive~thru window. People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just turned 3 year old, and you never have to ask him to turn up the volume; it’s always fully cranked….

There have been several embarrassing times that I’ve wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not so audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco. Halfway through our shopping
trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom….

If you’d been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to last stall… ‘Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?’

At this point, I started mentally counting how many women had been in the restroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full. 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity…. Cade continued, ‘Mommy, you ARE going stinkies, aren’t you? Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh, Mommy! I’m trying to see in dere. Oh, I see
dem! Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You ARE gonna get some candy!’ I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming new born when you need one? Good grief. This was really getting
embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting….

Trying to divert him, I said, ‘Why don’t you look in Mommy’s purse and see if you can find some candy. We’ll both have some. ‘No, I’m trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!’ He started to gag at this point. ‘Uh oh, Mommy.
I fink I’m gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!! As the gags became louder so did the chuckles outside my stall….

I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: Okay, there are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone. ‘Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done doing stinkies! Get up! Get up!’ He grunted as he tried to pull me.

Now I could hear full-blown laughter…. I bent down to count the feet outside my door. ‘Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at da wady’s feet?’ More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation. ‘Mommy, it’s time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy.’ He started pounding on the door. ‘Mommy, don’t you want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!’

I saw that my ‘wait ‘em out’ plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened the door, and found, standing outside my stall, twenty to thirty ladies crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud. My first thought was
complete embarrassment, then I thought, ‘Where’s the fine print on the motherhood contract’ where I signed away every bit of my dignity and privacy?’ But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap
between his chubby little hands, I thought, ‘I’d sign it all away again, just to be known as ‘Mommy’ to this little fellow.’ 

***Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She lives with her family in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where she no longer uses public rest-rooms with her 3 year old in tow….

2 comments February 19, 2008

Love?

For far too many women, both young and old, Valentines Day is not the celebration of love that it should be. For some, February 14 is just another sour reminder of how far they’ve fallen from the hopes and dreams of what love might have been in a different time, different place, and with a very different person.

Are you in an abusive relationship? If so, maybe this February 14 can become your doorway to freedom. Consider the following information:

Signs of an Abusive Relationships http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/abuse.html

Important warning signs that you may be involved in an abusive relationship include when someone:

• harms you physically in any way, including slapping, pushing, grabbing, shaking, smacking, kicking, and punching
• tries to control different aspects of your life, such as how you dress, who you hang out with, and what you say
• frequently humiliates you or making you feel unworthy (for example, if a partner puts you down but tells you that he or she loves you)
• coerces or threatens to harm you, or self-harm, if you leave the relationship
• twists the truth to make you feel you are to blame for your partner’s actions
• demands to know where you are at all times
• constantly becomes jealous or angry when you want to spend time with your friends

Unwanted sexual advances that make you uncomfortable are also red flags that the relationship needs to focus more on respect. When someone says stuff like “If you loved me, you would . . . ” that’s also a warning of possible abuse. A statement like this is controlling and is used by people who are only concerned about getting what they want — not caring about what you want. Trust your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.

Signs That a Friend Is Being Abused

In addition to the signs listed above, here are some signs a friend might be being abused by a partner:

• unexplained bruises, broken bones, sprains, or marks
• excessive guilt or shame for no apparent reason
• secrecy or withdrawal from friends and family
• avoidance of school or social events with excuses that don’t seem to make any sense

A person who is being abused needs someone to hear and believe him or her. Maybe your friend is afraid to tell a parent because that will bring pressure to end the relationship. People who are abused often feel like it’s their fault — that they “asked for it” or that they don’t deserve any better. But abuse is never deserved. Help your friend understand that it is not his or her fault. Your friend is not a bad person. The person who is being abusive has a serious problem and needs professional help.

A friend who is being abused needs your patience, love, and understanding. Your friend also needs your encouragement to get help immediately from an adult, such as a parent or guidance counselor. Most of all, your friend needs you to listen without judging. It takes a lot of courage to admit being abused; let your friend know that you’re offering your full support.

Although the above information is geared toward a teenager, it is valid for adults as well. Finding a safe person to share the secret with is a must. A majority of the young women who come and find a safe refuge at Bethany House have experienced abusive and traumatic relationships, too. Rebuilding a life after an abusive relationship is challenging, but possible.

When “Jane” shared the following story, I was heartbroken:

“Tom took me on a drive to the beach. He’d been doing meth and hadn’t slept for days. He kept talking about how he wanted to kill me. I knew how violent he could be, and I was scared for my life. I just sat quietly hoping to keep him from finding any more reasons to be mad at me. We drove up a winding dirt road far into the coastal mountains. My terror grew as we drove futher and further away from the main roads. He led me to a cliff and forced me to look over. He told me if I ever tried to leave him this is where I’d end up. He also told me no one would care because I was a worthless piece of sh…; I thought I was going to die that evening. Amazingly, God had another plan for me. Dying that night wasn’t part of it.”

Friend, if you are reading this right now, and are suffering in an abusive relationship, I know God led you to this journal. Please, seek help now. Don’t wait. Had “Jane” continued in that relationship, I have a horrible suspician that we would have never met. Her pregnancy served as a “wake up call” for her. Today, she is raising her two children and is still free from that violent and degrading relationship.

There are many resources in your community that can help, including a national abuse hotline

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
 that can get your pointed in the right direction. If you are pregnant and seeking help, contact Bethany House. If we are unable to help, we will provide you with resources that can. Don’t wait. You deserve love.

You’re lovable and worthy.

Add a comment February 9, 2008