Kids … a source of laughter and joy

February 19, 2008 bethanygirl7
Tags: bathroom, Beth Rhinehart, Bethany House, Carol Van Atta, children, funny stories, Gresham, laughter, OR, parenting, stinkies

One thing Bethany House is never in shortage of is laughter. The never-ending, crazy-kid-antics are a continual source of genuine smiles and laughter for anyone who happens upon their inopportune performances.  Yes, performances! Whether they are aware of it or not, the fact remains, children have a special way of “performing” and providing us grownups with fresh comedy routines on a regular basis.

Thus far, this Blog has focussed on some very sensitive and heavy subjects, so it’s about time we have a gut-level, belly-aching laugh. What do you say? The following story was sent to me by a dear friend. I couldn’t wait to share it with, well, with EVERYONE.

Enjoy!

Embarrassing Mommy Moment (Major understatement)

If you’ve had children, or taken care of them, this is hilarious!!!A 3 year old tells all from his mother’s restroom stall – By Shannon Popkin (free-lance writer from Grand Rapids, MI.)

My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we’re in the library, the grocery store or at a drive~thru window. People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just turned 3 year old, and you never have to ask him to turn up the volume; it’s always fully cranked….

There have been several embarrassing times that I’ve wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not so audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco. Halfway through our shopping
trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom….

If you’d been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to last stall… ‘Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?’

At this point, I started mentally counting how many women had been in the restroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full. 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity…. Cade continued, ‘Mommy, you ARE going stinkies, aren’t you? Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh, Mommy! I’m trying to see in dere. Oh, I see
dem! Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You ARE gonna get some candy!’ I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming new born when you need one? Good grief. This was really getting
embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting….

Trying to divert him, I said, ‘Why don’t you look in Mommy’s purse and see if you can find some candy. We’ll both have some. ‘No, I’m trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!’ He started to gag at this point. ‘Uh oh, Mommy.
I fink I’m gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!! As the gags became louder so did the chuckles outside my stall….

I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: Okay, there are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone. ‘Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done doing stinkies! Get up! Get up!’ He grunted as he tried to pull me.

Now I could hear full-blown laughter…. I bent down to count the feet outside my door. ‘Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at da wady’s feet?’ More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation. ‘Mommy, it’s time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy.’ He started pounding on the door. ‘Mommy, don’t you want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!’

I saw that my ‘wait ’em out’ plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened the door, and found, standing outside my stall, twenty to thirty ladies crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud. My first thought was
complete embarrassment, then I thought, ‘Where’s the fine print on the motherhood contract’ where I signed away every bit of my dignity and privacy?’ But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap
between his chubby little hands, I thought, ‘I’d sign it all away again, just to be known as ‘Mommy’ to this little fellow.’ 

***Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She lives with her family in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where she no longer uses public rest-rooms with her 3 year old in tow….

 

Entry Filed under: Bethany House General,Uncategorized

2 Comments Add your own

• 1. Michelle  |  June 27, 2009 at 7:56 am

  I love this! That is SO funny. I have an 11 month old son, so I hope I’m prepared for stuff like that. 😀

  Reply

• 2. Ginger  |  September 14, 2009 at 8:01 am

  O man I laughed out loud so hard my eyes watered and I couldn’t see to read so I had to calm down enough to continue reading. This went on for about four rounds of belly laughing, tears, stop to calm down, read more. I have a 3 year old boy. I can so relate to this story.:())))))))))

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